by Coco Peate
To the lady who was throwing up her lunch in the bathroom stall next to me...
I could hear you, I knew what you were doing, and I cried a little for you. I wanted to knock on your stall and put my arm around you and tell you that you needed to stop. I wanted to tell you that you needed to love yourself enough to get past everything that brought you to this point. I know, however, that it’s not that easy. Moving past an eating disorder can seem impossible. I know the desperate feeling that eating even a very small amount of food can cause you. It can be so hard for people who haven’t been there to know what this is like.
I do hope and pray that one day soon someone will ask you what you need in order to get better. I hope that they listen, that they understand, and that they help you. Your honesty and courage and their compassion and love will help see you through. I know that being told that you need to eat, that it's what's on the inside that matters, that just "eating healthy counts" are not the words that help. I know you can't see how your already very small pants barely stayed on your tiny frame or how your arms were so thin that I wondered how long you have been struggling.
Perhaps this is new to you, or you have been doing this for so long that you can’t remember when it started. Please know that there is always a way out. It’s not easy, but know that it can get better. It starts with knowing your worth just as you are and deciding that you must love yourself. Once you can appreciate and value yourself, change can happen.